Forever Young...
Sunday's rehearsal took an interesting turn: After playing frisbee, the rehearsal involved Kermit the Frog, the Muppets, and Casey buying all of us cookies afterwards. It truly was a youthful experience. Learning "Rainbow Connection" and "Muhna Muhna" only strengthens our grip on our 5-10 year old core audience. I assume our other core audience, 70-80 year olds, will find them cute as well.
While our 5-man sound is limited, I am constantly knocked around by the amount of material we have been eating through the past month or so. Our vibe within the group is strong; our confidence and motivation are higher than I have ever seen it. I definitely attribute most of it to the fun and enjoyment we are having. This group is keeping me sane while I apply for numerous(hooray!)teaching jobs. Yes, folks, it is that time of year again. In what has become an annual tradition four years running, I have begun the process of finding a music education position. Let us take a journey into the mysterious, hidden realm of our educational employment process. Do you have your torch? Your broad sword? There is evil here that makes skin crawl and reduces grown men to crying, gibbering crazies.
Before you venture out into the darkness, your inventory must be fully stocked with the following: the Scroll of Interest, the Resume of Glory, 3 Scrolls of Recommendation, your Transcripts of Knowledge, and the License of Authority. You will use these invaluable items upon every encounter; do not expect to get past any of these foes without them.
What are these creatures, you ask? They come in many forms; some seem innocent and harmless. Others rear up and show you they are formidable straight away. They are: the Guild of District Applications! Be afraid; there is good reason, but show no fear. They use subterfuge, confusion, and fearmongering to scare away all but the most devoted(desparate?) of teachers. Some may require your Resume of Glory here also, even though you included it in the Holy Packet of Power.... oh, your counter-atttack is to cut and paste from your word document? Haha, you lose all of the formatting and spacing from the original! Diabolical!! Upon fixing these problems, you then encounter required questions that are answered by the information on the Resume. Sorry, my young padawan, but you must answer these questions still.
And now we come to crux of it; the Heart of the Beast. If, by now, you have prepared your inventory, ran the gauntlet of repetitive questions and requirements, and are still not discouraged, they have a final fiend newly found. Within the last couple years, all of the Guild members have added: Essay Questions of Despair! Six to ten mind-wrenching, thought-twisting, skull-rattling brain busters that question your very being. Would you like to hear some? Stop me if your ears begin to bleed.
WHAT ARE SOME REASONS YOU SHOULD BE CONSIDERED FOR THIS POSITION OVER OTHERS?
HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR STUDENTS IN ORDER TO BE MOST HELPFUL TO THEM?
HOW DO YOU DESIGN AN OVERALL LESSON FOR YOUR CLASS?
WHAT FOUR KEY COMPONENTS DO YOU BELIEVE YOU MUST INCLUDE IN YOUR PLAN?
WHAT TWO CORE TEACHING STRATEGIES DO YOU MOST USE TO ACHIEVE THIS RESULT?
I have at least 30 more that I have answered over the years, but I see you shivering in a fetal position underneath your desk, so I will refrain.
I assume you realize that all this is necessary before you even speak to a single person? It is very possible that you never will. You will devote many hours to a single application, and not even get a first interview. I have also found many of these positions are only posted publicly for one week. What this means to me is: A. They already have someone in mind and are just going through the motions, B. There is such an excess of teachers for the position that they only need to post for a week to get a good number of candidates. The thought of throwing a juicy steak to a pack of wild, ravenous dogs suddenly comes to mind.
Am I complaining? Actually, no. I am simply telling my experience. I am sure there are many others that have had an even tougher time of it than I. Am I frustrated? I think the parable above answers that question just fine.
Dono